A letter to Young Life leaders and Pastors, particularly Youth Pastors.

Today I saw that the ‘Charlie Kirk American Heritage Act’ passed the House in the state of Ohio. After I threw up in my mouth a little, I reviewed the language that the orchestrater of this Bill stated, that it ‘highlights the positive influence religion has had throughout our history’.

*Breath*

Having gone to a Bible college and received an associate’s degree and then moving onto a major university receiving an interdisciplinary undergrad, to include religion, in addition to having spent 20+ agonizingly painful years in the Christian church, not to mention having an advanced degree in psychology, I’m going to speak on this for a moment.

This also is not in reference to the Black church community, and this also does not apply to the Latino community, because let’s be honest, this Bill is referring to the generationally White Christian culture practice and identity. And although I am qualified to research and write an entire thesis as to why the outcomes of the White Christian Church have been so systematically harmful and responsible for a bloodbath of oppressive systems in our society, I will keep this short.

This Bill is a pathetic effort to continue White supremacy and oppressive systems that thrive within capitalism and authoritarian hierarchies by teaching harmful ideology from a young age. Full stop.

The church does not teach about the harmful outcomes that we see every day while doom scrolling on our phones. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word ‘systemic’ from a leader in a church and it’s actually a trigger word for most Christians I’ve met.

Discussing the harmful proven systemic outcomes of the Christian church implies that the entire ‘system’ of practiced beliefs is broken. And the larger challenge of the culture of White Christianity, which disparages and oppresses a majority of our country and the world, is in order for them comprehend and understand the detrimental outcomes of their practiced religion, they would have to believe the truth that is in direct opposition of what they are told is their identity. They grow up instructed that their value is in a ‘sacrificed savior’, while simultaneously are rewarded for practicing a hierarchical authoritative corporate economy that teaches their worth is in exploited labor and production. In addition, those who reap the benefits of White privilege, i.e. education, basic needs, family, community, high paying careers, trad wife and or patriarchal households, are typically awarded the highest positions in these structured 501c3. The culture silences pain and harm with gaslighting tools, conforming to binary norms, and leverages scripture, for mostly men, to fail upwards to more powerful roles. And they don’t use the plain language that I am using right now. They use moral ambiguous language left with lots of room for interpretation like ‘discipleship, discipline, accountability, Gods plan for you, the path of Christ, imperfect but forgiven,’ and an entire language that I am thankfully so far removed, I often forget. And it’s all a lie. The entire institution is leveraged for power and control.

I’m not suggesting an individual’s own convictions of spirituality or personal beliefs are necessarily the problem because as I mentioned previously, the issue is the systems that come from a groupthink practiced culture and ideology. Any truthful corporate successful pastor will tell you that their number one job is not to serve ‘Jesus’, but to keep butts in seats, the business running first and foremost, with the lights on and the mortgage paid. Sacrificing, serving, the fruits of the spirit and the theoretical meat and potatoes of their identity is secondary.

And I’m not wrong. Follow the money. In almost every church in this country, Follow. The. Money. Look at the resumes, the histories, the race, gender, sexual orientation and preference of all the leadership. Look at the outcomes of rape, sexual assault, fraud, abuse, excessive wealth, trafficking, and exploitation. Once again, this would require looking at systemic outcomes, which most will not do and or will justify with scripture and identity.

Anyway, this is a boring conversation because the people who should actually read this, won’t, and will deflect the truth per what they are taught, and continue perpetuating behaviors of suffering.

And it’s somewhat of a frustrating topic in the predominantly White suburban area that I live as our local Young Life looks at my sons as juicy desired targets to colonize in their cult group. Even though some of their loudest followers have turned one of my sons away from student parties, mentioned that he is ‘different’ than the high school Christian community (which is the best compliment he could ever receive), they are at the same time trying to rope my boys into purity culture with conversations of shame and performative statistics of their theoretical nonexistent masturbatory practices and discussions of abstinence. The leaders invite them to every event and or retreat to suck my sons into their cult. It is infuriating as a parent to watch them be pursued and targeted to participate in a structure that teaches systemic deflection from accountability through manipulation. It’s a cult that is attempting to teach my sons that value is in production, whiteness, denying humanity, and comfort at all costs at the expense and exploitation of others. Their weapon of choice is fear. They coach my sons that their extensive resume of life long service and activism to sacrifice, serve and love is irrelevant because that ‘isn’t what matters’. It’s the century old tail of ‘you will go to hell if you don’t follow Jesus (LIKE ME).’ There are literally over 46,000 denominations of Christianity on this planet to choose from. What makes Young Life, or whatever toxic youth group, believe that THEIR’S is the chosen and the other 45,999 are the ticket straight to the fire inferno of hell?

My sons are intuitive enough to shake their heads and walk away. They choose silence as they are familiar with the same hollow binary language their peers are taught, and most have never had conversations of consequence. Most of their peers, in general, have never volunteered outside of their corporate institutions or have even personally invested in those living with food and housing insecurity. They are taught that LIVING like Jesus is not the end game, accepting Him so they don’t go to hell is the goal. Sounds great. I totally believe in that bland narrative that denies all complexity of humanity. Sign us up. Can’t wait to live in the superficial narrow, white comfort at all cost cult they are selling.

It is hard to watch the poorest of influencers attempt to penetrate our children’s lives away from the goodness of who they are and fruits of their existence.

So in conclusion, LEAVE MY SONS ALONE! If you would like to have a philosophical, psychological, interdisciplinary discussion about why we do not attend White Christian institutions, I’m here for it. But you have to get through me before you harm my sons. And I stand on business. They are worth so much more than whatever KPI you are trying to meet. The truth is, if Jesus was ever real, and He is who He says He is, there is nothing your youth group, Young Life Group, or performance based authoritarian corporation can do to change my son’s salvation one way or another.

So, there’s that.